Sunday, November 27, 2011

Ever lost just one glove?

If only they had mitten clips for adults, or some kind of GPS locator chip for that one that always goes missing.

In the mean time, form meets function, meets ridiculously cute with Spirit Hoods. Xmas is coming and you could make me a very happy and warm lady with one of these. (Especially, the Panda one. Hint! Hint!)

Additionally, when you buy one of these stylish fuzzies, you help real fuzzies with the Pro Blue.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

It's official: Detroit hates Nickleback

55,000+ people have signed the petition asking that Nickleback be removed as the half-time act for tomorrow's NFL football game with the Green Bay Packers.

I hate Nickleback too, so I don't feel terribly bad for them, but the band has retaliated with their own, incredibly hysterical, video. Who knew Chad Kroger had a sense of humor??

Great idea, actually.

Ladies: ever been out at the bar/club/concert venue and suddenly realized that those cute heels are absolutely KILLING you? There are ways to get around this - lean on the corner of the bar and shift from foot to foot, find a seat and stick to it until the throbbing goes away long enough to take a potty break, or go totally shoe-less. But wouldn't it be great if you didn't have to leave the bar to retrieve the pair of flats you know are in your trunk from, like, a year ago?

Problem solved! Rollasole has you covered. Quietly excuse yourself to the vending machine, load in about $10, and solve your problems with some cheap but stylish flats. Why this hasn't caught on in the States is totally beyond me. Maybe we can re-purpose those cigarette machines into shoe machines.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Squishy damn kids these days

A school in Toronto has banned "hard" balls because they might hurt the kiddies. Kids are great and precious and all, but if I had a nickel for every friend I had in grade school that fell off the monkey bars and broke something, I'd surely have enough for a bag of Cheezits.

Children are faced with much bigger challenges now than a "hard" ball. Middle schoolers are getting pregnant, drug experimentation runs rampant, and violence is everywhere. While we desperately want to, we can't protect the youngsters from everything. There are things that they will need to learn on their own.

For instance: paying attention during gym class is important, standing up to a bully is more effective that tattling, and some times, you lose. Happens to the best of us.

So this decision to ban "hard ball" sports is a complete over-reaction. We rode to school without seat belts, brought peanut butter sandwiches into the building without worry, and played on the 12-foot-tall play structures over concrete without worry.

There's something about childhood that doesn't seem complete without a physical "learning experience" It's tough enough to get kids to put down the Wii controler. Why make it harder?

Passwords must include a symbol, capital letter, Sumerian glyph, photo of great-grandparents, and blood sample.

I get it. The Internet is an open expressway of info. People get hacked all the time, whether they are savvy or not. (Happens to me about twice a year, actually. Ignore those emails about penis enlargement...sorry.)

Protecting your financials, buying habits, dating life, correspondence, and pornography habits gets tougher and tougher. So Internet companies are charged with making it *even* tougher to pick up your password. Although, you're forced to come up with some insane combination of characters, it ultimately benefits you. (Write it down. For serious.)

Here's the list of 2011's most frequently used passwords. I'm horrified to admit that one of my numerous passwords is on this list. (Don't bother guessing, I've already changed it.)

  • password
  • 123456
  • 12345678
  • qwerty
  • abc123
  • monkey
  • 1234567
  • letmein
  • trustno1
  • dragon
  • baseball
  • 111111
  • iloveyou
  • master
  • sunshine
  • ashley
  • bailey
  • passw0rd
  • shadow
  • 123123
  • 654321
  • superman
  • qazwsx
  • michael
  • football

Friday, November 18, 2011

Again with the "I don't *GET* kids these days.

How can you possibly not enjoy reading? I have hundreds of books I've read over and over, and a list of hundreds more I want to read. Except "The Scarlet Letter." That book sucked.

Being a blogger, social networker, Internet business owner, etc., I get my fair share of time with tech, but I still enjoy the smell of a new book. The tiny crunch you hear when opening a new hardcover is irreplaceable. The feeling of a fresh page as you turn it to uncover the next can't be simulated. I refuse to purchase a Kindle, despite the new, aggressive pricing, because the sensory experience is so personal.
Apparently, more than half-a-million Facebook users are anti-book. While the world's population continues to climb towards 7 BILLION+, it still makes me sad to see this.

Cupcakes for the rest of us

Not sure about you, but I'm not a huge fan of sweets. I like the occasional mini Snickers, but otherwise, I'm a protein-craver. Meat, cheese...gimmee!

So, the fine Cupcake Linnie, has come up with a solution for the "meat and taters" crowd: Beer and Cheese cupcakes! How can this miss? Two of the greatest inventions in consumable history in a portable snack. Geeeeeenius!

Check out her other creative cupcake recipes. While bacon and cheddar can't be beat, there are a LOT of others coming at a very close second.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Robotic help for loud sleepers

I will be the first to tell you, I sleep like I'm dead. The only thing that (usually) wakes me up is my alarm clock(s) and the subconscious knowledge that I have to be at work on time. Weekends? All bets are off. Usually, a fidgety dog kicking me in the stomach signals morning.

I've been told, more than once, that I'm a loud snorer. Being a heavy smoker and heavy sleeper, I totally believe it. In fact, I have had exes voluntarily relocate to the sofa due to my nocturnal noise-making. But the Japanese (yeah, them again), have come up with a fuzzy, cuddly, alarmingly cute, solution.

So I guess I either need an equally-heavy-sleeping partner, or one of these and a box of wine.

Lego bible

Sadly, this is not a post extolling the virtues of everything Lego. While I'm a great proponent of the "variety bucket" over the kit with instructions, and the imagination that Lego inspires in general, this one is just a pathetic marketing ploy/brand presentation.

I get it. It's tough to get kids to read and understand the Bible. Honestly, the original document isn't terribly well-written, and the subject matter isn't easy to connect to. Contextually speaking, it's fairly irrelevant too. Especially the Old Testament.

But the "Brick Bible" is really too much. The intersection of logos children recognize and religion is despicable. As though there aren't enough 1-year-olds that recognize McDonald's/Barbie/XBox/pick one!, let's try to throw the Old Testament in there with a brand they might recognize.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not anti-religion. Religion is actually a great thing for some people. It provides hope, and comfort for millions. But there really should be a distinct separation between retail marketing and religion. Is that really what we've come to? "Separation of church and sales pitch."

I want my kids, when I eventually have them, to have a choice. Choose their belief system, choose their morals (with guidance from oddly-hyper-moral athiest Mom), and choose how to be a good person. I hope that I can overpower logo-ed influence in that decision.

While this concept disgusts me on a number of levels, the effort and art put into its creation is admirable.

More than you've ever wanted to know about turkey sex

Stephen Dubner, author of the greatest book ever written (Freakonomics), visits NPR's "Marketplace" with some interesting (disturbing? TMI?) news about next Thursday's entree.

While you're sucking down your gravy soaked turkey, think of the tender care of the farmers charged with raising these birds to Thanksgiving standards. Or rather, don't. Might ruin your appetite.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Face-palm...doing it right, actually.

Gotta love this site. Not only because it's hysterical, but also because it's a constant reminder to stay in control of one's alcohol consumption.

Teens do the darndest things

As a teenager I was a nightmare. Sneaking out, boys, booze, drugs, etc. Fortunately, my mother was too canned to notice. Also fortunately, I was self-aware enough to cut that crap out around age 18, and get my priorities straight.

During that time, there wasn't a substance I wouldn't ingest orally or nasally between the ages of 13 and 18 though. But cavities below the navel were for something else entirely. Wink, wink. Somehow, teens have gotten more creative and decided that tampons are an effective alcohol delivery system. Both girls AND boys. Who comes up with this?!

While kids are on my radar as something I want in my life, I think back to what I was up to as a teen, and monitor what "kids these days" are up to, and it scares the snot outta me. Knowing that I was a mess in high school, and convinced that karma's going to beat my ass on this one. How can teens be dumb enough to think that a cotton suppository is going to help avoid a positive score on a breath-a-lizer? Also, how can life be so difficult that they need that type of escape?

Monday, November 7, 2011

This just proves how completely screwed up anti-gay marriage views are.

I like the institution of marriage. I think it's wonderful that two people choose to commit their lives to one another, and in many cases, their children. When I eventually get married, it's going to be the first and LAST time I do it. The serious commitment of marriage is not lost on me. Being in love is one thing, being in love forever is another.

So, I know the Bible, buried somewhere in the chapters that no one reads anymore, says that homosexuality is "wrong" (btw: says in the same chapter that eating shellfish is "wrong" out Mid-South!), but it seems to me that the "institution" of marriage is a joke. Cite copious numbers of American TV and movie stars that get hitched for a paycheck, rather than for love. This will make great TV! Who cares if children are involved, or if we're bastardizing the sacred bond of two people wish to share for their entire lives?!

Marriage is for two people that agree to love each other, for better or worse, forever. Marriage is difficult, relationships in general are difficult, but if Kardashian-type behavior is the standard for "acceptable" marriages, we've got our priorities all wrong.

What people do in their bedrooms is their business exclusively. But when two men or two women wish to make a *life-long* commitment to each other, they should be allowed to do so. Not necessarily because it's their right (even though I really think it is), but because they're inevitably going to do a better job than the faux stars the American public chooses to idolize and emulate.

How can the right-wing, anti-gay marriage proponents look at this and think it's okay?

Remember when there was this cable channel that played music videos?

I think it was called "Music Television," or MTV for short. The channel that is currently titled MTV plays reality shows, and...well, reality shows.

Despite the inexplicable disappearance of music videos from television (except during the wee hours of the morning, when no one's actually watching), there have been a lot of innovations in making music videos. We've come a long way from the days of "Take on Me."

Check out this amazing stop-motion video using almost 300,000 jelly beans and 2 years of construction and editing. No matter what you think about the song, the video is pretty damn neat.

Aussies finally have it right!

After years of disasters in innovation (cite: Vegemite, boxed wine, and Australian rules football), the Aussies have come up with the coolest thing since the Black Box.

Check out the Super Hero license plate! Tennessee offers UT plates, hunting plates, St. Jude plates, and goofy looking "Support the Arts" plates. I'd rather support Batman, thankyouverymuch.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Bill Cosby would be jealous

We've all gotten them: horrifying sweaters from well-meaning relatives. I got a "Beauty and the Beast" monstrosity when I was 14 from a pair of very sweet grandparents. It was so tragic I couldn't even wear it in an effort to make them happy.

So, this Xmas, head your fiber-happy family off at the pass with your very own ugly-ass sweater. Plus! It's Cthulhu. Nothing says "Happy Birthday Jesus" like the god of ultimate destruction. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I got 99 problems, but a rotisserie ain't one

Ever craved some kabobs but realized that you're in the office with 900 projects to complete in 20 minutes? Sick, jammied, and not up to facing the world, but really need some shwarma? Living in Antarctica with no access to an outdoor grill or thermal socks?

The fine folks at the Carson Rotisserie company have your solution! Grill in a case. What seems like an innocuous aluminum briefcase is actually a complete rotisserie grill. Accentuate your sales pitch with a Brazilian steakhouse in a box! Who cares if you're selling pharma, tools, or clothes?! Everyone likes food.

Next: I'm hoping for a suitcase that will do a whole chicken. Or maybe a garment bag that smokes a whole hog? More portable meat, please!!